I surrender my idea of success.
I clearly remember the day I opened my journal to vent a little. I was exhausted from trying to be “amazing” and working hard to fulfill everything I was supposed to do. I poured myself a cup of hot tea as I poured out my complaints to Jesus. I felt like a disappointment, a failure, and I couldn’t think of anything I could do to strive to be a better success. Could I try any harder?
It was at that moment that I closed my eyes. In my imagination I saw a mountain. It was the mountain of success and I was climbing it hard…forcing myself to persevere and push back disappointment, complaining and exhaustion. I looked up and there were people who were much further along than me. “How did they get to be that successful?” I asked myself with twangs of jealousy shooting through my heart. Then I looked below me and felt comforted as I saw people below me struggling to get as high as me: “Well, at least I’m doing better than them”…
Thankfully I recognized the ridiculous and selfish thoughts that were polluting my heart. I hate this mountain. I hate what it does to my heart, and I am exhausted from trying so hard. Enter Jesus. (Don’t you just love how He brings us wisdom and perspective with such love and patience?) He simply reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms:
“He who dwells in the secret place of the most high, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1).
Two words jumped out like never before: MOST HIGH. I am invited by the King of Kings to dwell in His secret place and abide in His presence and live life from His dwelling. And guess what? It’s higher than any stupid mountain of success. And it’s safer, and there’s no room for comparison. I instantly chose to embrace the truth and immediately experienced His peace, His presence and His abiding liquid love. Oh, sweet Jesus. Then of course, I took a big stick of holy-dynamite and blew up the mountain! I have no desire to climb that again. And why should I? I am chosen by God to be His precious, beautiful and beloved daughter. Secure in His love, it’s impossible to compare, and it’s effortless to love. Everyone.
Today is my day to ponder: Am I climbing the mountain of success? Am I deriving my identity from how successful people perceive me to be? If so, I’m going to change my dwelling place. I am blowing up the mountain and I’m choosing to live in the secret place of the MOST HIGH. Under the shadow of His wings I am safe, I am at rest, and I will effortlessly fulfill purpose.
It’s a great day to blow up mountains!
Have a wonderful weekend,